Ready or Not

My due date is now less than five days away.  I am ready to be done being pregnant.  I'm not quite as sure I'm totally ready to go through labor or have a newborn again.  

The last week and a half has been gloriously cool.  I've reveled in the 60 and 70 degree temperatures, even as my kids wrapped themselves in thick blankets every morning as we came downstairs.  Today the temps notched back up to 90+ degrees.  That's definitely contributing to the DONE feeling.  

Yet, so far, nothing.  I had a midwives appointment this morning.  The good news is baby girl is head down and doesn't seem to be posterior (a non-posterior baby!!?!?).  On the down side, she's still sitting super high (typical for me) and I'm only dilated to a 2.  Oh, and of course she's a plenty big baby already.  Sigh.  I'd really love for her to come tomorrow, because the midwife who delivered Graham (and whom I love) is on call at the hospital.  More likely I'll go overdue.  Isn't that peachy?

In the meantime, I'm slowly working through my pre-baby to-do list.  Here are some things I've managed to accomplish thus far:

• Perfect the pregnant-lady waddle.
• Organize, wash, and put away oodles of adorable, tiny girl clothes.
• Set-up the bassinet.
• Prep the diaper changing station (we'll use cloth diapers the first 6 months again).
• Put an emergency (new) shower curtain and towels near the front door just in case our little one decides to make a speedy in-the-car-type delivery (we live 35-40 minutes from the hospital).
• Install the newborn car seat in the van.
• Grow too big for most of my maternity clothes.
• Finish shopping for back-to-school supplies.

Things that are still on my list:

• Pack a hospital bag for myself and Nellie (because, if I pack, then she definitely won't come, right?)
• Finish prepping for the new home school year (just a month away!).
• Nest.  A note on this one.  This is my fifth pregnancy, and I feel totally gipped that I've never felt that mythological "urge to clean and organize."  It sounds quite lovely.  
• Catch-up on blogging.  Yes, I've posted ten posts so far this month, but I still have a backlog and who knows when I'll have a chance to catch up with a newborn!
• Mentally prep for labor and delivery (so far, my best motivational thought has been telling myself, "this is the last time you'll have to do it!").
• Freezer meal/post-baby food prep.  A (longer) note on this one too... I did GREAT at this with Graham.  Mostly because we had just moved a month before he was born and didn't know anybody.  I knew we were on our own, so I prepared accordingly.  I remembered a Stake President Mark and I had way back when we were first married and living in Wymount.  He was a huge advocate of self-reliance.  He would say things like, "having a baby is not a surprise, you have nine months to prepare!" and "we should expect husbands to step up, they are fully capable of cooking meals!"  I think he makes some valid points.  However, after Graham was born, people we had barely met, and many who we'd never met before, showed up at our door with wonderful, warm, delicious meals.  Yes, we were prepared to stand on our own, but it still makes me cry with gratitude to think of the service we received at that time.  Our ward boundaries changed just a few months later, but those people who helped us will always have a special place in my heart.  I think this is perhaps something my old Stake President didn't fully take into consideration; the connections that come from being on the receiving end of service, especially during times of transition.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not excusing my ill-preparation or expecting other people to take care of my family.  I'm just acknowledging that there's a fine line between self-reliance, pride, humility, and entitlement.  

Ready or not, this baby will be making her debut sometime reasonably soon.  Wish us luck (prayers are appreciated as well).