It's been almost a month since Thane's birthday. I'd better buckle down and get this post finished. It's challenging, though, because Thane is not a kid who's easily explained or described. He's still Captain Contrary, and sometimes that's evident in his behavior and choices as well. He's simultaneously independent, competitive, and intense, and generous, thoughtful, and intentional. Here are a collection of experiences to better illustrate my point:
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When I picked up my brother-in-law Stew from the airport recently he commented, "Wait, you have four kids? Oh yeah! I forgot about Thane for a minute."
I responded, "you only forgot about Thane because you haven't been around him. He's not the kind of kid who lets himself be forgotten. There's no danger of him getting lost in the shuffle!"
Thane's the first one to attach himself to visitors in our home. He's especially fond of uncles and grandpa's.
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Though Thane demands attention, he does not like the spotlight. He regularly turns down opportunities to go up to the front in primary, doesn't like getting his picture taken, and even covered his head when the waitresses sang to him for his birthday at Red Robin. He both wants to be in the middle of the action, and invisible on the sidelines.
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| Trying not to let me get a picture of him helping |
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Thane is super-duper competitive. A while ago in science we were talking about blubber and how it keeps animals warm. We did an experiment where we timed the kids to see how long they could keep their hand in a bowl of ice water, then tried again with their hand protected by a lard-filled bag. Thane was the last to have a turn in the first round of the experiment (we had two homeschool friends doing the experiment with us). His only question: "how long did Charlotte (the current record holder) keep her hand in?" The boy proceeded to keep his hand in the water for over 4 minutes - until I made him pull it out!
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When describing Thane, I often tell people, "If someone tries to take something away from Thane, he will fight tooth and nail to keep it, and he will win. However, if he has even an inkling that the person wants the thing he has, most likely he'll gladly hand it over without even being asked."
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I recently got the following email from Thane's primary teacher:
"A couple of weeks ago, the kids each got 7 jelly beans for being good in class. As I handed them out, every single kid gobbled them all up as soon as they got them. But not Thane. He slowly ate 3 jelly beans and was holding on to his 4 other jelly beans tightly. He came and told me he was saving them. 2 for his brother and 2 for his sister. What 4 yr old does that ?! He is so so sweet.
Also, whenever I ask him if he wants to be a helper, he says yes, but if any other kid shouts that "they wanted to be the helper", thane always says, "that's okay, they can do it."
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Another day in primary, they had a kids vs. missionaries game in which they called up a kid and tried to see if the child could answer the question before the missionaries. Whoever answered first got a sticker. When it was Thane's turn, he was able to answer correctly and earned a sticker. He promptly walked over to the missionaries and gave them his sticker - a totally typical Thane behavior.
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Thane LOVES to play games. Bryce is his favorite playmate, and is the one who has taught him almost every game he knows. In the early stages, games often ended with Thane furious at having lost. In the last six months or so, Thane has become an excellent sport. He's gracious in winning and calm when he loses (though he still freaks out if he suspects cheating).
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Thane has always been fiercely independent. I don't think it even occurs to him to ask for help. A common phrase at our house (for years) has been, "Thane, if you have to get a stool, you probably shouldn't be doing it."
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Thane is a thinker. When we read to him, he often oh-so-softly repeats the things he hears under his breath. He's not a passive recipient of knowledge; he's always considering, evaluating and questioning. He's right on hand when I'm doing school with Bryce and is especially interested in the history, scripture study, and science. He's full of meaningful questions about why people chose to do certain things, or how and why things work. I call him my Little Scientist.
One night we were singing the verse about Jonah in the "Follow the Prophet" primary song. When we finished he interrupted, "Wait. Why does it say we should follow a prophet who made a bad choice and tried to run away!?"
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In addition to being a scientist, Thane is also a monkey. The boy loves to climb and is totally fearless.
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When Thane was a baby he was always bouncing. Nothing's changed. He enjoys watching Mark play old-school video games on the computer. I enjoy watching Thane, who is so full of nervous energy, that he always hops off his stool and starts jumping!
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Thane has proved himself to be extremely gentle and patient with babies and small children. When Kami was here he was so patient and kind the entire week. When other babies or little kids come to play, he talks to them in a higher pitched voice and gently, gently corrals and plays with them. I'm excited to see how well he does with his own baby sister.
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As gentle and kind as he can often be, Thane also has a fierce temper. When he doesn't get his way, he loves to argue back and demand that he WILL get what he wants. Frequently he tries using his fists as well. Here's a very common conversation that occurs in this type of scenario:
Me: "Thane, how often do you get what you want by yelling, demanding or hitting?!" (the correct answer being "never...")
Thane (yelling): "EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!"
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As I've mentioned, Thane is super contrary. He adores arguing. The night before he turned five, as I was tucking him into bed, he told me, "I won't turn five tomorrow. I want to stay four forever and ever!"
I couldn't argue with him; I'd be happy to let him stay four longer! However, I couldn't quite understand what had prompted his statement. Up until that point, he'd been thrilled with the idea of turning four. The only explanation he'd given me was, "I want to stay in preschool," which made me laugh because though he always loves preschool after the fact, the mornings of preschool he usually says he'd prefer to stay home.
As I thought about it later, I came to the conclusion that it was mainly a result of no longer having a choice in the matter. The next day he HAD to turn five, and that bothered him. He likes to have his own way.
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Thane has informed me that he only has two friends, Collin and Finley. Sure, he has lots of other kids that he plays with and likes well enough, but he's very particular about the use of the word, "friend."
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Thane still has a few speech/articulation issues. All of them are developmentally appropriate, but sometimes result in funny situations. For example, he is in the process of learning to read. One day he asked me, "why do l and w make the same sound!?"
Another day he was taking a placement test for an online math program. One of the questions was, "which word says 'three'?" Thane repeated out loud, "free. f-f-free!" And proceeded to click on the first word he saw that started with /f/. Oops.
So, no. He still can't say his own name correctly. He's "Fane."
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At our house, for their birthdays, kids get to help plan the whole week of meals. Thane planned most of his week based on what he knew his siblings and his dad liked best. He talks so much about wanting to get things his dad likes, that when our home teacher (who is awesome) brought by a birthday treat for Thane, he also brought a bag of Reese's peanut butter cups for Mark (and that made Thane beyond happy).
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Thane has finally mastered sleeping. For years he woke up screaming multiple times a night. When he got over that, he would still creep into our bed at some point every night. For the past few months, he's been completely in his own bed. A couple weeks ago, I commented to him about how well he's been doing. I might have said something about "kind of missing his cuddles," because the next thing I knew he proclaimed, "then I will come in tonight!" And because he's Thane, and always does exactly what he puts his mind to, he did in fact come crawling in about 1 am. What a sweetie!
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What Thane Says About Thane:
Favorite Color: Red
Favorite Candy: Tootsie Pops (which is what happened to be in his mouth when I asked the question)
What he wants to be when he grows up: a Dad
Where he wants to go on his mission: Antarctica, to teach the penguins
Favorite Primary Song: "I Know that my Savior Loves Me"
Favorite Animal: Cheetah
Favorite Movie: Emperor's New Groove
Favorite Thing to Do: Play games, my favorite game is Scorched Earth
Favorite Food: Square Ravioli
Best Friend: Collin and Finley
Favorite Book: The Three Little Gators
Favorite Toy: Books and puzzles and games
What makes him happy: Mom
Favorite thing to do with Mom: Read
Favorite thing to do with Dad: Play Scorched Earth
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