"By Myfelf"

I've been collecting anecdotes about my kids for months and just haven't yet gotten around to allocating the brain power necessary to blog about them (and the longer I wait, the more daunting the task becomes).  However, in reviewing my notes, I noticed that a significant majority of the stories involve Thane.  And, considering the major accomplishments of the last few weeks, I thought it appropriate to designate this blog post just for him.

********

So, to begin, let me back up a little over 6 months...

One morning I encouraged Thane to try to have his morning bowel movement before I put him in the shower.  "On the potty?" he queried.  

Shocked by the question, I stammered, "Uh... sure," thinking that sitting him on the toilet might be good pre-potty-training desensitization.  Up he hopped, and if I was shocked to hear him ask to sit on the potty, you better believe I almost keeled over when he immediately peed and pooped.  

"Who taught you to do that?!" I demanded.  

Followed immediately by, "No.  Nonononononono!  I am super impressed that you figured this out by yourself, but I am NOT going to potty train you right now.  I've been down this road once or twice before, and I know the effort involved in potty training a child.  I have other things to do this week.  You know, kind of important things, like having a baby!"

********

After putting him off for almost six more months, I finally caved to peer pressure and decided the time had come to undertake the potty training process.  I was afraid we might have missed the golden "window of opportunity," and the first couple accident-filled days seemed to confirm my fears. But, on about day 3, something clicked and we've now been over 2 weeks without a single accident!

Less than a week into the process, Thane decided he wanted to wear his underwear on all our outings and during his nap time.  I was hesitant, but he has been nothing short of a-mazing.

In true Thane fashion, he's already convinced he doesn't need any help, and I frequently find him coming out of the bathroom casually informing me, "Me just peed."

*********

You see, Thane has always been fiercely independent; it almost never even occurs to him to ask for help.  If he wants or needs something, he figures out a way to get it or make it happen.  

One small example - he's adamant about getting dressed on his own. Occasionally he'll deign to allow me to button his pants, but otherwise he can do it, "by myfelf!" When he first learned to dress himself (many months ago), I had to be extremely careful, lest I inadvertently touched him or his clothes during the getting dressed process, because that would then necessitate him stripping back down and starting completely over.

*******

No discussion of Thane would be complete without addressing his penchant for contrariness.  There was a long period of time when Thane contradicted almost everything we said (the last two months, I will admit, have been a marked improvement, so most of these stories come from before Christmas).  Mark and I soon discovered two important things: 

1. reverse psychology was our friend, and

2. arguing with a two-year old is an exercise in insanity, so just reply, "okay, Thane."

We had many conversations like the following....

Me - "Here's your milk, Thane." 

Thane - "I don't want milk!" 

Me - "Great, don't have milk, have water." 

Thane - "No! I want my milk!"

and like this....

Me - "Come upstairs, I need to take a shower."

Thane - "Me not want a shower, Aaahhhhh!"

Me - "Fine, you don't need a shower today, you had one yesterday."

Me: sigh (as Thane spends my entire shower sobbing outside the shower door because, "me does want to take a shower!"

One night, after a long series of contradictions, I exclaimed, "Thane! You are so contrary!"

Thane scowled, pulled himself up tall, and retorted, "Me not contrary, YOU contrary!"

********

Thane also has a strong sense of how things should be done.  Sometimes that works in our favor, such as the fact that he always reminds us that we need to have scripture study before we go to bed (and here's an adorable video of him saying the first scripture he ever memorized [2 Ne. 2:25]...this was the first time he performed it, now he repeats it constantly).

Sometimes his particularity can be maddening, such as when he demands the blankets on his bed be put in a specific order or facing the exact right direction.  Or when he decided that certain designs on his diaper made them "morning diapers" and other designs were "night time diapers," and they could only be worn accordingly.  Or when we move something around, and he insists of putting it back "where it goes," no matter how many times we explain that we decided to move it.

When things don't go his way, Thane is often quick to anger and hitting is his preferred mode of showing that anger.  As he's gotten more articulate, he's happy to explain, "he hurt me, so I'm going to hurt him back!"  That logic makes so much sense to him.

One night as I was trying to put him to bed, he got mad at me and started to try to hit me. "Thane!" I scolded, "we don't hit in our house!"

He stopped fighting and thrashing, looked up and asked, "do we hit outside?"

**********

Here are some other things I want to remember and record:

*Shortly after his second birthday, Thane became known as "Echo," because he repeated everything he heard (and also because he copied everything Bryce did).  Thane's verbal echoing was especially evident in the car; he'd sit in his car seat carefully repeating, as precisely as possible, all the conversation around him.  Sometimes I'd just sit and listen in amazement as he'd quietly whisper all he heard.  All that practice resulted in dramatic improvements in his own verbal ability (though he clearly still has pronoun issues).

*Like many parents, I've learned I have to be stealthy about throwing things away, because nothing is trash to Thane.

*The other night Aubree asked me what we were having for dinner.  "Wraps," I replied.

Thane looked up, confusion and distress evident on his face, "Wrap?  With Graham in it?"

*One afternoon I went upstairs for two minutes to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer.  As I came down the stairs, I did a quick visual sweep of the house.  I saw Aubree and Bryce, but no Thane. "Where's Thane?" I asked.  No response.  "Thane?"  "Thane!"

Slowly, the pantry door opened.  Out came Thane, grinning broadly and covered from the waist up in Nutella.

*Thane has always had difficulty going to nursery.  When we got put in a new ward at the beginning of this year, I was afraid it would be just another setback, especially since the nursery seems to be one of the last things organized and has been chaos every week.  Surprisingly, Thane has thrived in these circumstances.  He likes being one of the big kids and the weekly subs (who don't know what they're doing), keep pulling us aside to tell us how helpful Thane has been in making sure they know the routine, in taking care of the littler kids, and in cleaning up.  

*One day when Thane was getting his shoes out of the closet, he came across an old pair of his shoes.  This particular pair was unique because it zipped up.  However, Thane couldn't get the zipper to work.  Frustrated, he lamented, "Mom! This shoe is out of batteries!"

*Thane still loves to help around the house.  He's Mark's official assistant trash collector.  He's the first to run and get Graham a diaper or help set the table.  He's also quite skilled at helping unload the dishwasher.

*Thane is solidly in the "why?" phase.  Conversations at our house always go something like this:

Me - "Daddy will be home when you wake up in the morning."

Thane - "Why Daddy be home when I wake up in the morning?"

Me - "Because tomorrow's Saturday."

Thane - "Why tomorrow's Saturday?"

Me - "Because Saturday comes after Friday."

Thane - "Why Saturday comes after Friday?"

And on and on... repeated 879 times a day.

*Through it all, this little man has totally and completely stolen my heart.  Even on the hardest days, I put him to bed and think, "I just really, really like this kid!"