So Bad It's Already Funny

As we pulled onto the freeway leaving Kira's house, I commented, "well kids, we can chalk this up as our worst vacation yet."

"What are you talking about?" Mark protested, "this was a great vacation!"

Not sure if he was joking or not, I replied, "uh, everyone was sick and we barely left the house!"

"Well," he consented, "the sick part wasn't great, but I got to spend a whole week reading and sleeping and listening to music and didn't have to go anywhere.  That's my kind of vacation!"

Considering he took on the lion's share of sick-kid duty (because I had Graham and didn't want him getting sick if at all possible), I'm glad that it turned out to be a good week for him!

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The goal for Saturday was just to make it to Boise.  The drive up went pretty smoothly, with only one 1.5-all-the-way-up-Thane's-back episode.  He wasn't a very happy camper.

We arrived in Boise at dinner-time, grabbed some pizza, and made it to our hotel just as a bitterly cold snowstorm hit.  My last, miserable, experience staying in a hotel made me very wary, but (especially considering the circumstances), we had a relatively pleasant night.  

Thane trying to plug Mark in

The biggest difference was that Thane said, "me want to go to bed," and crawled up and promptly fell asleep.

Which then allowed Aubree and Bryce to fall asleep without distractions.  Lovely!

The next morning Thane seemed much better.  It had been almost 24 hours since any 1.5 episodes and he didn't have a fever.  We'd planned to meet up with a friend and her family and go to sacrament meeting with them before finishing our drive home, but she sent a text early Sunday morning saying she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't make it to church.  We were sad we wouldn't be able to see them, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise (for them).

Instead, we decided to drop in to the nearest ward building, which just happened to be in the shadow of the Boise temple.  We arrived just before the meeting began and the only available seats were in the center pew, just a few rows from the front.  As we sang the hymns and partook of the sacrament, I thought to myself, "I'm so glad we made the effort to come to church, I really needed this."

It was a missionary homecoming sacrament meeting, but the first speaker was sick, so the Bishop was speaking in his place.  In the middle of the Bishop's talk, Mark (who was holding Thane on his lap) scooped Thane up, grabbed my backpack, and high-tailed it out of the chapel.  He later explained that Thane's face had gone pale and he was afraid Thane was going to throw up.  

A few moments later, Aubree elbowed me. "Mom!" she hissed, "Look!"  

I followed her pointing finger to the spot where Mark and Thane had been sitting and found a puddle of mushy, yellow, infant-like 1.5.  

We alerted the gentleman sitting next to it (who looked rightly disgusted), and a kind lady (stranger!) behind me offered to hold Graham while I went to the bathroom to get some paper towels (because Mark had the diaper bag with all my wipes).  

I passed off Graham, told Aubree and Bryce I'd be right back, and started walking intently towards the bathrooms.  But as I walked, I noticed that every 3 feet or so was another plop of poop.  All the way through the chapel and down the long hallway to the bathroom.  Plop. Plop. Plop.

I guess the good news is that I knew exactly where Mark and Thane were.

I grabbed piles of paper towels and made my way back to the chapel where I first cleaned the pew.  Another lady sitting behind me tapped my shoulder, "Pssst!  Did you notice it's on the back of the pew in front of you too?"

No. I hadn't noticed. 

I left my kids again and worked on the hallway.  An angel of an old man went to the custodian's closet and took care of the plops in the chapel.  

As soon as I finished cleaning, I snuck back in to try and discreetly retrieve my children.  Mark and Thane were still in the bathroom; they'd both been covered, head to toe, in 1.5.  Mark, unaware of the trail they'd left behind, called through the bathroom door asking for a change of clothes, then offered generously, "this is going to take us a while to get cleaned up, you can go back and enjoy the rest of Sacrament Meeting."

Ha! No way, no how was I about to show my face in that room again!  Like, ever!

We managed to get all cleaned up and drive away before Sacrament meeting officially ended.  Sometimes anonymity is a good thing.

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After that, we were more than pleased to be on the road and putting a little distance between us and our experience.  We were making good time and eager to be home, when we got just outside Pendleton, Oregon and were informed that because of an accident (did you hear about the tour bus that went off the side of the road?), the roads were closed for 5-6 hours.  The only way around was hours out of our way through a narrow, icy mountain pass.  You know, the scenic route.

On the upside, the kids got to see lots of snowmobiles and they thought that was neat.

All in all, we made it home safely Sunday night.  Thane was still a mess, and I was eager to get him to see a doctor first thing Monday morning.  But, of course, he woke up dramatically better and was back to his normal, into-everything self.

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With the benefit of a few weeks' perspective, I guess my dad was right.  Everything did work out okay in the end, and it was a little funny. 

BUT.  For the first time, I don't have another trip in the works.  I think the stomach bug killed my travel bug.