New Beginnings

Generally, I find change exciting.  But the more I think about it, the more I realize it's not the change part so much that I find appealing, but rather the chance for a new beginning, a fresh start, a chance to do better.

"Change? You mean putting on 4 new shirts when I'm supposed to be napping?  Oh, in that case, I'm a pro at change!"

I'm one of the rare individuals who likes Mondays.  Sure, I'm sad for the weekend to be over, and will be looking forward to the following weekend, but in the meantime I love the idea of a new, clean week ahead of me.  I always have high hopes that I'll do and be better this week than the last.

For the same reasons I like new months, new school years, new classes, new callings, and new years.  It seems like lately the tradition of making New Year's Resolutions has gotten a bad rap.  And I can understand why, since most people don't stick with those goals more than just a few weeks.  I can't say I'm necessarily an exception to that rule.  But a new year is such an obvious new start, that I can't help but take advantage of the opportunity.

I mentioned last year that I thought Januarys were worthless and a major let-down after the continual excitement of December.  I suggested we just skip them entirely.   You'll have to forgive me, as I was in the throws of first trimester misery.  This year I'm actually enjoying the nothingness of the month.

You see, I have a number of goals for the year, but they all primarily revolve around the idea of getting my life in order.  2012 was a year of tremendous change and tumult, and I felt like I spent the majority of it just barely scraping by.  So I'm focusing on bringing things back together, making plans and schedules and routines, helping my children remember how to get along and follow directions, trying to  feel like I have a grip on life again. 

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Now that I've explained how much I enjoy new beginnings, let me contradict myself.

When we moved into our new house and new ward last July I was so excited to finally be in a place where we had no intentions of moving.  "We can put down roots!," I exclaimed, "These primary kids will be the ones our kids grow up with!"  

We put forth tremendous efforts to get to know the members of our ward and we were blessed to find amazing people.  Aubree was especially thrilled to become instant friends with the five (really fabulous) girls in her primary class.

Not long after we moved into the ward we began to hear rumblings of ward realignments.  Rumors ran rampant, and most suggested that our ward would be divided in two.  I knew we'd be sad whichever side of the divide we ended up on, but we had started to establish friendships with members on both halves, so I figured we'd be good either way.

Yesterday the Stake called a special meeting to explain the major realignments.  Sure enough, our ward was sliced into two pieces.  But, in a surprise twist, one small sliver of the ward (only 7 families, including ours), was cut off from everyone else and sent to a brand new ward.

"They did what?!"

I'm not pleased.  I'm sad.  I'm deflated.  Not one of Aubree's or Bryce's friends are coming with us. 

Aubree with one of the girls from her class

I don't want to have to start over. Again.

I know in a year I'll probably write a post about how much I love our new ward and how glad I am for the unexpected switch.

And, I know I'm being a big baby.  I keep thinking about the early converts to the Church who left everything (friends, family, homes, possessions, and countries) to join the Saints.  Later, families were often called to leave their homes and friends again to settle unfamiliar and often inhospitable new territories.  Certainly switching wards doesn't hold a candle to those sacrifices.

So, I know it will all work out.  We'll build up the energy again to reach out and make new friends and jump into this new ward with both feet.  

"I'm sure I'll make great friends, who can resist my smile?"

But I'm still sad.
So much for liking change.