Homeschool Pros/Cons -Part 1

*Fair Warning - long and overly detailed posts ahead.  If you're looking for a more succinct examination, here's a recent pro-homeschooling article that's making the rounds in social media that I thought was pretty good: 18 Reasons Why Doctors and Lawyers Homeschool Their Children 

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It has been almost three years since we made the decision to homeschool. Overall, it's been a great choice for our family but certainly not without its downsides.  

I have friends who are hardcore homeschoolers and will never return to public education.  I have other friends who are firm defenders of public education and staunchly disagree with the decision to homeschool.  I respect both extremes and feel both sides usually have valid arguments and concerns to support their positions.  I also think both sides occasionally have some inaccurate and skewed views of the other side.  

Before we started homeschooling I was adamantly opposed to the idea (I wrote about the change-of-mind process here), so I think I have a reasonable feel for both sides of the argument.  I consider myself more of a fence-sitter; I do see the pros and cons of each side and they weigh heavily on my mind.  We re-evaluate our decision every year and feel like we could fall on either side, depending on the specific set of circumstances.  

So far for our family, the benefits of homeschooling have outweighed the downsides.  As this school year winds down, we're in the midst of the re-evaluation process.  Aubree has applied (and we will find out soon if she gets accepted) to a pretty neat, Montessori-based class in our school district.  They only accept about 8 kids per grade (out of the whole district), so the chances of her getting in are pretty slim.  

Even if she is accepted, however, I'm still not sure we would choose to send her.  Every time I start to think about making the final decision, my brain spins in circles until I'm dizzy (hence the need to write out an exhaustive pros/cons list).  Admittedly, there's a significant part of me that hopes she doesn't get accepted, just so I don't have to make the decision. So, I appreciate the opportunity to try to organize my thoughts in a somewhat coherent manner.  Thanks for coming along for the ride.

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I can't continue without first identifying a couple caveats:

These are my views and experiences and they are certainly not generalizable to all other families or situations.  What's a pro to me, might be a con to someone else and vice versa.  Our needs and circumstances and resources are unique to our family, as yours are to your family.  What's "right" for us, is not necessarily right for everyone.  I am grateful for the opportunities we have to seek information and personal revelation so we can make the decision that works best for our situations and support others as they seek to do likewise.

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By far, the #1 benefit to homeschooling is TIME with family.  I have major issues with the length of the school day and I cringe at the idea that my kid would spend more time gone than home (because sleeping time doesn't count).  To be honest, if school classes were only 4 hours a day (or even better, Monday through Thursday for 5 hours a day), I'd be much more likely to put my kids in public schools. And, on a related note, if the government moves forward with proposed plans to lengthen the school day and the school year, it will certainly sway my feelings strongly towards continuing to homeschool.

One of the most common complaints I hear among parents is that there's just not enough time to spend with their kids. Once kids get home from school and get their homework done and have dinner and maybe have a sport or church class or activity, there's precious little time for anything else before it's time to go to bed and start all over the next day.  We don't have that issue.

Since we are together almost all day, every day, we have plenty of time to talk, to play, to get involved in extra activities, to argue and make-up, to learn the gospel, to share values, and to learn skills.  Now, whether or not we use that time effectively is a different issue entirely.

One of the biggest downsides of homeschooling is TIME.   We are all well aware that there are only so many hours in each day.  By choosing to homeschool, I am necessarily choosing not to do something else.  Sometimes that's something frivolous and unnecessary, like watching TV or perusing Pinterest, but more often it's important, good things like cleaning, or exercising, or talking to friends, or serving others.  I certainly haven't figured out how to balance it all and usually fall short in a variety of areas.

I occasionally have other moms comment on how I'm "amazing" because I homeschool.  I think a lot of the reason they make that comment has to do with time issues.  Being a Mom is a full-time job and takes all your time, so the thought of adding something more to your plate can be overwhelming.

But the more I think about it, the less I think I'm "amazing."  And here's why... How many people do you know that don't feel "busy?" 

I know I felt completely busy with two children and completely busy with four.  I also felt super busy with no children and am pretty sure I'd feel the same if I had six.  While there are exceptions, in general, I think life expands to fill all our time. 

My mom had eight children in 14 years.  She was Relief Society President, and Cub Scout Round Table Commissioner, and she milked the cow and cleaned the house and fixed what broke and cooked the food and took care of all the myriad needs of her children.  I knew (everyone knew!) she was BUSY.  I remember wondering what in the world she would do with all of her time once all of her children were grown and gone.  Now, only my youngest brother is left at home, and my mom is arguably busier than ever!

So, what's my point?  I guess it's just that we're all in the same boat of figuring out how best to use our time.  I'm not amazing, I'm juggling just the same, and sometimes it's really hard.  I comfort myself by recognizing that even if I weren't homeschooling, I'd still probably struggle with feeling really busy and prioritizing.  But, since I still find ample time to waste, I know there's room for improvement and I have hope that there is a possibility of someday finding a good balance.  

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I have a million more to include, but at this rate my post will be impossible to read in one sitting and I'll never finish it, so I decided to break it into parts.  I'll try to get the subsequent posts up in relatively rapid succession.  In the meantime, enjoy a humorous excerpt from my sister-in-law Katie's recent email on this topic:

"I've also been enjoying coming up with "cons" for homeschooling. So far I have: your children's vocabulary is far less colorful than it could be, they likely only have an age appropriate view of healthy sexuality, the kids think that they have to be buckled into moving vehicles instead of bouncing around buses, their immune systems haven't been exposed to as many diseases, they have to pick their clothes every day instead of wearing uniforms (here the public K-8 dress code is red or white collared shirt and navy or khaki bottoms), they don't get nearly enough fire drills, they are less experienced with weeks of standardized testing."